Currently Listening 25 Number Ones By Conway Twitty hello darlin see related

Title to this post:  HELLO DARLIN

That's the title of a really old country song the first verse goes somethin like this

Hello darlin, nice to see you.  It's been a long time.  You're just as lovely as you used to be.  How's your new love?.......

This is such a strange time in my life.  Although the disassembly and reassembly of the dell has gone much better than expected.....  It seems I have entered a rut.  All I do is go to class work out and go to eat with the guys from the dorm.  This is broken up ever few weekends by random sober nights at the house which suck at best...the worst I leave to the imagination.  Of late it seems as if large amounts of distance have grown between me and those that I care about the most.  And most recently a resurgance of emotion has completely rocked my life from its frame.  I guess it's time for me to finally admit it.  I miss her...wholey...completely..... There isn't a day that goes by that I don't see her in my mind.  I'm not delusional enough to think that we can be together but it's times like these when I remember how it worked.  I remember when we first got together as 2 SOBER kids who fell in love.  I remember the sweet times, times when she would put her head on my shoulder and not say a word.  When we didn't need words we could just feel.  The surprisingly perfect weather patterns for the past week or so only make this worse.  There comes a time in life though when you realize despite everything that has gone wrong you still love someone, not puppy love, not kids love, but real; lasting love that is tried by life itself and for which no jury could ever see the whole picture. 

But at the same time you realize that she's happy with her new love.  And you are but a fading memory.  So there is nothing left but to pick up the pieces of shattered life and let her grow and hope she finds happiness. 

this whole xanga, this is how my day was blah blah blah bullshit is way to over rated.  It is just another way for us to use the internet and it's text messaging cohorts to place distance between us.   I have a common sense for you people if someone really cared how you were doing they would call you or see you in person not read it on some web diary. 

That said the last few weeks have been absolutely beautiful.  My days consist of working out about 3 times per, I've lost around 35 pounds (a lot of it water weight), my diet has done a complete 180, I had my cross shaded in and got another tattoo and they both turned out great, giving up drinking is quite possibly the best decision I've ever made (so I pity those to weak to do the same), my best friend at school is my little brother in my fraternity, of course I've still got my usual random assortment of women coming to my room (hey I never said I was giving up all my vices), my grades are outstanding, and for the first time in a long time I've got money in my pocket,  also my frat brothers and i have never been closer; i've found more support from them than probably anyone else in my life. 

On a sadder note my mother's company has declared bankruptcy and i may be attending Ole Miss in the near future but it will get me away from the few remaining destructive things in my life.

in short....I've NEVER been happier....and if anyone actually reads this then smile because people, life, and bullshit can change all you have to do is get rid of the bad.